#This is specifically bcs like listen I never considered Ace to be lean

[enjomo-arch]

Beefy Ace, we all agree

[collectivedreamscapes-moved]

i just had the most random thought. well... two of them.

1) i remembered when Main Renee thought we only had a few boys in the system... and wanted to hysterical laugh. Cuz so very wrong.

2) of all the reasons system mates can form, can 'dealing with the dissonance and dysphoria of being trans' be one of them?

we were kids in the late 70s and early 80s. we didn't even know being transgender was a thing until our 30s.

we remember being inordinately confused by Boy George and Hollywood from the movie Mannequin because in our experience, we were informed multiple times in multiple ways that there was a Right Way and a Wrong Way to express your gender (ie we were always doing it Wrong) and we asked our mother one time why Boy George dressed like that (bc she listened to a lot of Culture Club) and she was all 'it's just part of his act' in this 'don't ask anymore questions' tone of voice. (this is a woman who would lose her shit if my brother didn't clip his nails.)

sexuality has always been easier hands down for us bc we didn't bother thinking about terms we didn't even know existed. we would just be: 'cute. 10 of 10 would bone'. regardless of gender.

gender is a confusing mess of '???' in our heads. along with gender expression. we remember Main Renee feeling ashamed bc she liked quilting and being confused as to why because clearly we were a girl and quilting in our family was an approved girly thing. so why be ashamed?

we laughed when we were scheduled for a hysterectomy and our mother and aunt were all like 'you'll still be a woman without ur uterus' because we were just like 'thank god! just take the thing!' and we were genuinely confused at all the comforting and consoling literature. like... being a breeder doesn't define being a woman? or does it? we didn't know and figured this was just another in the very long list of things that didn't make basic sense to us.

(and we'll tell you a thing. we know it's a fanfic trope and some ppl find it a helluva squick, but we love ABO bc it allows for normalized male pregnancy... even if we don't agree with certain anatomical presentations of it. because we had three kids and the guys in our system are PROUD to consider themselves Moms.)

when we learned about transgender and started actively reading up on it and was like 'oh! oh this is a real thing?!' we were dating a lesbian at the time and she was Not Pleased and told us she would have to break up with us if we pursued it and we were again... confused as hell. like 'what tf does it matter what our body looks like if you love us???' we had the worst disagreements about our chest. we mostly wanted our tits gone and she kept suggesting reduction instead. (she'd had one.) and we realized she didn't get it. so we left it alone.

the body is 45 now and we've been using genderqueer as a term bc it encompasses all of the system's various gender issues. we hesitated to use trans bc we felt like we didn't fit our understanding of the term. (we've since been told that genderqueer falls under the trans umbrella?)

so we've largely avoided specific terms (and lemme tell you, the whole aro umbrella was both eye opening and even more confusing than anything else) because people seem to have ideas and opinions on what they practically mean that just... do not compute to us. our spawn has tried to explain and watched us just... '???' ... as we tried to wrap our brain around it. and finally just said 'mom... you're prolly not gonna get it.'

sexuality is easy for us. once we learned the term pansexual we all went 'oh yeah this fits way better than bi' and haven't looked back. the rest? sometimes it feels like we'll never sort it out. so every year Pride month is... kinda painful. Because the things you see the most are people who are fiercely about 'this is who I am!' which is awesome for them. but us? it just kinda emphasizes everything that confuses the hell out of us.

as a system... we tend to lean towards genderqueer pansexual and quoiromantic bc trying to explain it is hard. we think we're likely more demiromantic to quoiromantic but we're still grappling with the fifty million definitions for love and the difference between 'platonic' and 'romantic' still baffles tf out of us.

individually.... our identities roam the map. some are ace, some are proudly gay, but all of that is still sexual attraction, which is easy.

the rest... not so easy.

[jadehqknb]

Can I have a scenario please! (it's going to be very specific) Tendo comes out of the gym after their coach talked to them after they lost against Karasuno & he founds his fem-best friend/crush waiting for him outside the gym bc she wanted to see how he is feeling bc she knows he's going to quit volleyball & she indirectly confess to him but Tendo never believed she would ever like him back, so he only realises she confessed after she left the place. Surprise ending, please :) Thaaaank youuuu.

Meekosfreedom thank you for the specifics of yourrequest! I love this idea and I LOVE the “guess monster” so it was a pleasure tobe able to write something about him. I hope I got this right and that youenjoy it! Thank you for your patience, I had to let this one simmer in my brainto get it just right.

Satori Tendo – “Loving the Monster”

Tendo’s eyes are half hooded, exhaustion setting in afterfive full sets against Karasuno. He still can’t believe they lost; no one can,least of all their coach who is currently ranting and raving, his wordsblending together he’s so worked up.

“So, this is how mythird year is going to end,” he thinks glancing at his teammates, “never would have guessed that.” Hechuckles inwardly at his own bad pun. He’s upset, of course, everyone wants togo out on a high note, but he can’t bring himself to care enough to cry aboutit. Not that he cries much at all. Being picked on for most of his life such ashe has built up so much resistance he’s like Teflon now.  

“100 serves and 100 dives!” shouts Washijo before sittingback down. After a brief pause Tendo begins making his way to the exit.

“Tendo! Where the hell do you think you’re going?!” thedemon coach bellows.

“Home, I’m done,” retorts the red head.

“You’re done when I say you’re done!”

Tendo shrugs, “Consider this my resignation, I have no intentionof staying.”

Outside you pace nervously waiting for Satori to come out.The loss to Karasuno is devastating and you want to be here for him. The soundof the gym door opening catches your attention as does the yelling coming frominside. Tendo walks out, his bag slung over his shoulder, eyes down on theground as he walks.

You rush forward, saying, “Satori-kun, are you ok?”

He lifts his head, the slightest of smiles curling his lipup. Of course you would be here; you’re always there for him. He lets out asigh, half from the long day and half because he’s so damn frustrated at hissituation. Here you are, the most perfect girl in the world, and he’ll neverget to tell you. Because not even someone as accepting as you could ever love amonster like him.

He’s not blind to the way people perceive him, not deaf totheir whispered words of how weird and unlikeable he is. They only keep theirmouths shut because he is, or rather was,a starter on the volleyball team. Now…now he’ll go back to being “the weird guy”instead of “the weird guy who can block hella good on the volleyball team”.

“Satori-kun,” you say clasping your hands together lookingup into his face, “I…I want you to know that I think…I think you did so great and…and…you’re the best on the team, the very best!”

He chuckles. “I’m not the best, _____-chan, that spot isreserved for Wakatoshi. Plus, I’m not on the team anymore.”

“What? You mean…you mean you actually quit?” you askbewildered. He’d mentioned he’d be giving up volleyball if they didn’t make itto Nationals but you didn’t think he was serious, mainly because no one couldconceive of their losing.

“Time to give the fresh blood some room to move,” he sayswith a grin.

“But Satori-kun, you…you love volleyball!” you exclaim.

He shrugs, head down looking at his feet. “I wasn’t goodenough, I…I’m never good enough,” he says more to himself than to you.

Voice trembling you say, “You’ve always been good enough forme, Satori-kun.”

Tendo feels his heart skip a beat at your words but tampsdown any hope that they mean something more. You’re a kind person, of courseyou would say something like that. Shrugging again he steps past you, rufflingyour hair like he usually does when he gets nervous around you. “Thanks,_____-chan, you always know just what to say.”

“I mean it Satori-kun,” you say emphatically rushing to cuthim off, “you…you’re wonderful. You’reone of the best people I know and…and…” his eyes are looking into yours,waiting for you to finish your sentence but you can’t get the words and I like you to come out. You’verehearsed this in your head thousands of times but now they won’t come.

After a further beat of silence, he offers another smallsmile but doesn’t say anything as he keeps walking, knowing you won’tunderstand why he just can’t look at you anymore. Because if he keeps lookingat you with your eyes shining so bright, your lips parted with the weight ofheavy breaths, and your cheeks flushed pink against the coldness of the rapidlyfalling night, he’ll allow himself to believe you’re saying something you’renot; and he just can’t take more disappointment today.

The next day during lunch, for reasons unknown to himself,Tendo tells Wakatoshi what happened the night before after he left the gym. Helistens in attentive silence then in his trademark blunt fashion says, “So sheconfessed.”

“Eh? What do you mean?” Tendo asks confused.

“_______-chan confessed to you, how is that not clear?”returns the ace with a shrug.

Satori thinks back over your words, as he has for the entirenight, but now, having an outside source, and one who never says what he doesn’tbelieve to be the truth, has smacked Tendo right in the head with it. Youconfessed! In a roundabout way, you let him know how much you care about himand he walked away from you like itdidn’t matter because he was so absorbed in self-loathing that he couldn’t readbetween the lines. He hadn’t guessed whatyou meant.

No wonder you were so quiet this morning when he saw you inthe hall. No wonder you avoided eye contact, muttering a hasty good morningbefore rushing off with an excuse he didn’t even hear because you’d spoken sosoftly and quickly.

Pushing his chair back, Tendo rushes to where he knows yousit every day for lunch. You like it there because it’s quiet and you can readin peace. Rounding the corner and flying up the stairs two at a time he hopesagainst hope you’re there.

The sound of the door to your mostly secret sanctuary burstingopen reveals a heavily breathing Satori.

“Satori-kun, what- “you begin only to be cut off as he yanksyou to your feet into his arms. He hugs you fiercely, burying his face into thecrook of your neck making you gasp.

“I’m so sorry, ______-chan, I can’t believe I was so stupid.”His voice is muffled by your hair but you hear every word. Pulling back, hegazes down at you, a large smile on his face, his eyes shining. “I…I like youtoo…so, so, so much and…” he stops, staring at your lips for a fraction of asecond before leaning down and sealing them with his own.

You’re both breathless when he pulls away, him panting out, “I’msorry, I should have asked you, I shouldn’t have done that without-“but you cuthim off with a kiss of your own, hands raking through his fiery red tresses makinghim moan into your mouth. He lifts you by the waist, throwing your legs overhis hips and kisses you back more deeply, more passionately. His kisses arejust like him; powerful, overwhelming and deliciously hot.

Coming up for air, you stare into each other’s eyes. Then aslight giggle escapes you prompting him to smile smugly as he nuzzles your nosewith his own.

“Be my girlfriend?” he asks and kisses you again when younod yes.

Tendo’s heart dances and skips in his chest; they may havelost the match but he’s happiest being in a set with you.

[bloojayoolie]

Being Alone, Animals, and Bailey Jay: Tank Friondly and Play pup whoat up who just wants to be your ne nly wants to be your One and #3500] 2 years old and 55 lbs of FUN! Staten Island AC ****TO BE KILLED 7/24/18**** ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS WATCH HIS VIDEO AND SEE WHAT A FUN PUP TANK IS!! https://youtu.be/z83L5lRAFbk This compact pup loves loves LOVES his tennis ball, and will even brave the swimming pool to get it! Tank is as cute as a button and is curious about the world around him. He likes toys and people and is FUN!! Volunteers note how FRIENDLY AND PLAYFUL Tank is! He just wants to be your one and only so he can shower all the fun energy on YOU! So Please open your home and your heart and #SAVETANK now! A volunteer writes: Tank is so much fun to have out in the play yard. He LOVES fetch and will play it non-stop. He's smart, too. I tried to fake him out by pretending to throw the toy, but there was no fooling him! Tanks brought the toy back every time, dropped it at my feet only if I pretended I wasn't watching him. He had me laughing out loud at his face when he was "not watching me". Tank is a gem that I've fallen hard for. Could you be his forever home? Come to the Brooklyn Care Center to meet him. A staff member writes: Tank is a sweet and gentle boy with staff, he comes in and out of his kennel without any issues. When in the backyard Tank will sit with staff and solicited attention. He also enjoys playing fetch with his tennis ball, and staff is able to take the ball from him to throw it back. Another volunteer notes: Tank was an owner surrender due to personal problems. He's very friendly with people, but has been reactive with other dogs in the center. We would like to see him in a home as an only dog in household. Another volunteer notes Tank is in adoptions at BACC. He's friendly, playful, and he should be the only dog in the household. He was an owner surrender. His volunteer writes in July: Tank has been in the shelter for 2 weeks now. He's one cool dude, who just wants to play ball, and chew his play toys all day long. He's got these beautiful wide open brown eyes, that will stare us down when we pass by his kennel. We tried to capture his beauty in this video. I believe he wants to be an only pet in household, which is not impossible to find. We always believe the glass is half full when trying to find homes for these pups. Tank has been so good in the center, holding everything together while he waits for each walk to come his way. Another volunteer notes on July 15 Tank was an owner surrender due to personal problems. He's very friendly with people, and loves his chew toys. This guy is really awesome and he reminds me of Rouge a little bit. He is not bothered by us touching his treats or toys, and he just chills in the yard on most days. Tank should be an only dog in household since he's been reactive when other dogs pass by his kennel. Volunteer Natalie Sanchez adds on July 16 I can’t fathom why Tank is still at the shelter and not in a home, he’s soo handsome and a sweetheart! He plays fetch and doesn’t mind the pool. He loves to just hangout and sit and play with his toy. He’d be a great companion to just lounge around with please consider tank to be your new best bud and if you can’t please share to get this sweetie pie a home ! HELLO ADORABLE BOY: https://youtu.be/z83L5lRAFbk Tank #33001 in BROOKLYN ACC NOW! (was Staten Island ACC before) Sex: Male Age: 2 years old Size: Medium Length: Short Is Vaccinated: Yes Coat Type: Smooth Primary Color: Brown Secondary Color: White Weight: 55 lbs. Owner surrender due to new baby Intake Date: 07-01-2018 SHELTER ASSESSMENT Experienced Home Single Pet Home OWNER NOTES Basic Information: Tank is a 2 year old un altered male dog that was surrendered due to a new baby in the home and the owner not feeling comfortable. Previously lived with: 2 adults How is this dog around strangers? Tank is friendly and outgoing around strangers. How is this dog around children? Tank is respectful around children. How is this dog around other dogs? Tank does not get along with other dogs. Tank becomes aggressive and dog reactive. How is this dog around cats? Information is unknown. Resource guarding: Tank does not display any resource guarding. Previous owner stated that he could take food away and toys without a problem. Bite history: There is no known bite history Housetrained: Yes Energy level/descriptors: high Has this dog ever had any medical issues? No Date of assessment:: 7/19/2018 Look:: 1. Dog's eyes are averted, with tail wagging and ears back. Allows head to be held loosely in Assessor's cupped hands. Sensitivity:: 1. Dog leans into the Assessor, eyes soft or squinty, soft and loose body, open mouth. Tag:: 1. Dog follows at the end of the leash, body soft. Paw squeeze 1:: 1. Dog gently pulls back his/her paw. Paw squeeze 2:: 1. Dog gently pulls back his/her paw. Toy:: 1. Dog settles close, keeps a firm grip and is loose and wiggly. Dog does not place his/her body between you and the toy. Summary:: Tank remained soft and social throughout his assessment. He displays a high level of energy. Date of intake:: 7/1/2018 Summary:: Allowed all handling. Date of initial:: 7/3/2018 Summary:: Friendly, allowed handling Medical Notes There is no known medical issues. For a New Family to Know Tank is a very friendly and high energy dog. He plays exuberantly with adults. He is respectful of children. Tank does not like other dogs. He has not been around cats. Tanks loves to play with a rope ,balls,stuffed animals and chew bones. He sleeps iun a dog bed. He eats both wet and dry food. He is well behaved well left alone. He has never been crated. He listens to directions such as sit,come,down and stay. He pulls lightly on the leash. Tank enjoys running in the yard and going for walks. BEHAVIOR NOTES Means of surrender (length of time in previous home): Owner surrender Previously lived with: 2 adults Behavior toward strangers: Friendly, outgoing Behavior toward children: Respectful Behavior toward dogs: Reactive and may escalate to aggressive behaviors Behavior toward cats: Unknown Resource guarding: None reported Bite history: None reported Housetrained: Yes Energy level/descriptors: Tank is described as friendly and highly active. Date of intake: 1-Jul-2018 Summary: Allowed all handling. Date of initial: 3-Jul-2018 Summary: Friendly, allowed handling ENERGY LEVEL: Tank is described as highly active and enthusiastic. He will need daily mental and physical activity to keep him engaged and exercised. We recommend long-lasting chews, food puzzles, and hide-and-seek games, in additional to physical exercise, to positively direct his energy and enthusiasm. We recommend feeding with puzzle feeders and food-dispensing toys. And we recommend only force-free, reward-based training techniques for Tank. BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION: EXPERIENCE (suitable for an adopter with some previous dog experience, especially with the behaviors outlined below) Recommendations: Single-pet home Recommend no dog parks Recommendations comments: Single pet home/No dog parks: Tank is reported to be uncomfortable around other dogs, escalating at times to aggressive behaviors. We do not have any details on these interactions or the specific behaviors demonstrated; however, the behavior seen in the care center is in line with the previous owner's description. He hard barks at the front of the kennel when dogs pass by, and when he walks past other dogs he lunges and charges toward them. He is not difficult to distract, and we have been limiting his interactions with other dogs in the care center as a result of his clear discomfort. Due to these reports and observations, we are recommending that he be the only pet in the home, and that dog parks be avoided until his behavior around other dogs can be investigated and addressed. We recommend counterconditioning and desensitization to address Tank's discomfort around other dogs, to address his underlying emotional state when he sees other dogs, and to teach him alternate behaviors to perform. This involves keeping Tank at a distance from other dogs, far enough away that he doesn't react, and giving him treats for remaining calm at this distance. The distance is then slowly decreased, moving at his pace (over days/weeks/months), until he can see other dogs and not react with barking, lunging, and charging. Treats are used throughout the process. We highly recommend enlisting the help of a force-free dog trainer or qualified behaviorist for this work. Potential challenges comments: We have not conducted a formal behavior assessment in the care center. Tank's adopter should review the reports from his previous owner as a best predictor of future behavior. He has been social and friendly with his human caretakers, and we have see no human-related concerns in the care center. Please note that behavior in the care center is not a guarantee of behavior in a home, and his adopter should be prepared for any behaviors he may show in the home as he adjusts to his new environment. MEDICAL EXAM NOTES 20-Jul-2018 Progress Exam Subjective: recheck exam; coughing frequently, did not eat regular food this morning, but ate a/d well during exam Objective Temp= 101.9 BCS 4/9 EENT: Eyes clear, AS- swelling, brown debris, no nasal or ocular discharge noted Oral Exam: mild dental calc PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupneic. Coughing frequently ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated U/G: Male intact, 2 descended testicles MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Assessment coughing- R/O CIRDC vs other otitis externa- improving but not resolved interdigital dermatitis- improved Plan: start doxycycline 250 mg PO SID x 14 days 19-Jul-2018 Progress Exam Subjective: recheck exam for possible coughing Objective BCS 4/9 EENT: Eyes clear, AS- swelling, brown debris, no nasal or ocular discharge noted Oral Exam: mild dental calc PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupneic. Coughing only seen when pulling on leash ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated U/G: Male intact, 2 descended testicles MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Assessment coughing- R/O pulling on leash vs infectious vs other otitis externa- improving but not resolved interdigital dermatitis- improved Plan: monitor for coughing in kennel or other signs of CIRDC 6-Jul-2018 DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: 2 years History : owner surrender Subjective: Observed Behavior - friendly Evidence of Cruelty seen - no Evidence of Trauma seen - no Objective BCS 4/9 EENT: Eyes clear, AU-erythema, swelling, brown debris, no nasal or ocular discharge noted Oral Exam: mild dental calc PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupneic ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated U/G: Male intact, 2 descended testicles MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, erythema and swelling in interdigital areas CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Assessment otitis externa inerdigital dermatitis Prognosis: good Plan: Applied claro AU (x) start simplicef 200 mg PO SID x 3 weeks SURGERY: Okay for surgery 3-Jul-2018 LVT Intake Scan positive BARH AMBx4 Friendly,allowed handling Male~2yrs EEN:WNL T: Mild dermatitis around pinnae (DVM exam for thursday) No fleas seen Nosf TO FOSTER OR ADOPT: If you would like to adopt a dog on our “To Be Killed” list, and you CAN get to the shelter in person to complete the adoption process *within 48 hours of reserve*, you can reserve the dog online until noon on the day they are scheduled to die. We have provided the Brooklyn, Staten Island and Manhattan information below. Adoption hours at these facilities is Noon – 8:00 p.m. (6:30 on weekends) HOW TO RESERVE A “TO BE KILLED” DOG ONLINE (only for those who can get to the shelter IN PERSON to complete the adoption process, and only for the dogs on the list NOT marked New Hope Rescue Only). Follow our Step by Step directions below! *PLEASE NOTE – YOU MUST USE A PC OR TABLET – PHONE RESERVES WILL NOT WORK! ** STEP 1: CLICK ON THIS RESERVE LINK: https://newhope.shelterbuddy.com/Animal/List Step 2: Go to the red menu button on the top right corner, click register and fill in your info. Step 3: Go to your email and verify account Step 4: Go back to the website, click the menu button and view available dogs Step 5: Scroll to the animal you are interested and click reserve STEP 6 ( MOST IMPORTANT STEP ): GO TO THE MENU AGAIN AND VIEW YOUR CART. THE ANIMAL SHOULD NOW BE IN YOUR CART! Step 7: Fill in your credit card info and complete transaction Animal Care Centers of NYC (ACC)nycacc.org HOW TO FOSTER OR ADOPT IF YOU *CANNOT* GET TO THE SHELTER IN PERSON, OR IF THE DOG IS NEW HOPE RESCUE ONLY! You must live within 3 – 4 hours of NY, NJ, PA, CT, RI, DE, MD, MA, NH, VT, ME or Norther VA. Please PM our page for assistance. You will need to fill out applications with a New Hope Rescue Partner to foster or adopt a dog on the To Be Killed list, including those labelled Rescue Only. Hurry please, time is short, and the Rescues need time to process the applications.